Love, sweet love…

by Lorraine Smith on November 23, 2017

Ahhhh, the holidays are upon us. Somehow time seems to start flying at warp speed this time of year. It’s the season of more. Do more, eat more, buy more, party more, drink more, stress more.

More is not always better it’s just, well, more!

The pressure to do more comes at a price. It means less time to do the things that nourish us and can leave us operating from a place of depletion and not from a place of joy and fulfillment. That’s why is super important to be super discerning about your needs and desires!

What does it mean to be discerning? According to Merriam Webster, discerning is showing insight and understanding; discriminating. It is synonymous with perceptive, sensitive, selective, eagle-eyed, observant, being aware of. It means keeping our receptors up so we can stay tuned into our own needs to ensure they don’t fall to the bottom of the list.

Learning to say no is not always easy, especially during the holidays when we don’t want to disappoint anyone or we feel obligated to say yes.  But remember, if we don’t take care of ourselves – by practicing self-love, creating good boundaries, and choosing how best to spend our energy – no one else will. Eventually, we will become depleted and grumpy which doesn’t serve anyone in the long run.

This is your one precious life and you are allowed to say no and take care of yourself. Use this filter when making decisions such as social gatherings invites, shopping for gifts, eating – if it not a definite yes, then it’s a NO! That’s it, simple but not always easy.

Being discerning with yourself and how you spend your energy is not selfish. It is an act of self-love. Why? Because when you say no to the things that don’t resonate with you, you open space to say to the things that do. When you turn on to your own desires, your light shines. When you allow your light to shine, you not only give others around you permission to do the same, YOU light up the world around you.

iphone pics 015When you love and take care of yourself, you are actually helping those around you!

“If enough of us embrace love, the world will eventually be saturated with love. The love in the world begins with the love within ourselves.” ~Deepak Chopra

It’s easy to misinterpret self-love with being selfish or narcissistic. According to Christine Arylo, author of Madly in Love with Me – The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend, loving yourself is not something you do instead of loving others, loving yourself is the prerequisite to loving others.

Having trouble with this whole self-love thing? Remind yourself – “only good can come to me and others from my choosing to love myself…”

When we learn to shed love on ourselves, we increase our capacity to share love and receive love from others. In my opinion, that is the best gift that we can give to all those we love, including ourselves and the whole wide world!

And the world needs more love now more than ever. Remember that tune by Hal David and Burt Bacharach?  Listen to it performed here by Dionne Warwick.

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

No, not just for some but for everyone”

PS – Everyone includes YOU!!!

Don’t get caught up in the frenzy. Check in with yourself. Keep your antenna’s up. Stay perceptive, sensitive, selective, eagle-eyed, observant, and aware of your needs and desires. Most of all be discerning and keep the volume of your sweet self-love turned on – full blast!

Believe in yourself!

by Lorraine Smith on October 14, 2017

When you tune into your heart’s desire and know yourself, anything is possible.

Sounds easy, right?

Then why is it that we feel like something is missing or we are not living up to our fullest potential?

Life is mirroring how we show up in ways that may be invisible to us.

Remember that – life is not happening to you, life is responding to you.

Gay Hendricks writes about this in his book, The Big Leap. He calls this your upper limit problem which is basically a lifetime of beliefs, fears, and habits that have held you back – often subconsciously and in subtle ways. These beliefs actually create a limited tolerance for feeling good. When we achieve some level of success, we may unconsciously self-sabotage ourselves because of this limited tolerance which brings us back down within the limits of our tolerance.

The core beliefs we have about ourselves are either supporting us or holding us back.

The good news is that you CAN reprogram yourself. We can learn to let go of the old fears and limiting beliefs and shift the focus of your creativity and drive to what you are uniquely gifted at. As Marie Forleo says, “The world needs that special gift that only you have”.  “There has never been and never will be another you. You have a purpose – a very special gift that only you can bring to the world”.

So how do we eliminate the barriers to success by overcoming false fears and beliefs?

It starts with taking a hard look at the limiting beliefs we are carrying around about ourselves.

Own Up.  Ask yourself -who or what are you blaming that may be keeping you from achieving your desires? Most often we blame our circumstances such as not having enough time, or the right job, boss, relationship, etc. Rather than looking outside of ourselves, we need to look inside.

Let go of your inner critic. Oh, how mean she can be! When your Inner Mean Girl runs the show, she will stress you out and bully you into making choices that may not best serve you. Next time you hear her in your head saying things like “you’re not good enough,” “you’re a loser,” or “everyone else has their act together,” flip it around and shine a little LOVE and compassion on yourself. Remind yourself “you are worthy of love and belonging (yes YOU),” “you rock,” and “you are amazing with all that you do.” Doing so will help you connect to your inner wisdom make choices that create more happiness, peace, love, and success.

Don’t be afraid of your darkness. So often we try to stuff the negative side of ourselves deep down. We were taught to be sugar and spice and everything nice, so when these so called “dark” emotions arise, we have no idea what to do with them. If we tuck them away rather than giving them the attention they desire, they get stuck. All emotions bring us telltale gifts, yet when left unacknowledged, our emotions end up running the show. That is until we acknowledge them and set them free. We often think it is best to stuff down the “dark” emotions but by doing so we also condition ourselves to not fully feel the “light” emotions too. Don’t be afraid of the dark. Learn to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all part of being human.

Repeat this mantra every day. I expand in abundance, success, and love every day as I inspired those around me to do the same. ~Gay Hendricks. This mantra will help us consciously expand our upper limit and increase our tolerance for feeling good.

Create space. We must create time for deep inner reflection. Cultivating the courage to nurture the aspects of ourselves that still need healing.

Weed out. We must weed out beliefs, habits, and social imprints that are choking out the light in our spirits and plant seeds of love and compassion inside our fertile minds, hearts, and souls.

Forging an unshakable connection to the parts of us that are stuck will help us break through our inner glass ceiling and live the life we were born to live.

A Tribute to Louise Hay

September 18, 2017

When I was in my early 20’s, Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life thankfully feel into my lap. This book had such a profound effect on me that it literally changed my life. Louise opened my mind to the totally of possibilities which led me to look at life from a whole new […]

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Most of us are starving….

August 19, 2017

Yep, that’s right. We are overfed, yet terribly undernourished. Overfed on the bull s!&t that we are supposed to be something we are not. Told we are less than, not good enough, inadequate, or even worse…wrong because we are women. Gasp! I am cringing just writing this. We are run down. Depleted. Lights diminished. Exhausted. […]

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The Power of PAUSE

July 16, 2017

Pausing is not futile or idle, it’s actually productive! Pausing is stepping to the side, sometimes for just a few minutes, sometimes for whole lot longer. Pausing creates the space for contemplation and reflection. Pausing lets us to reevaluate, reassess, and redirect. Let’s face it, we are not the same person we were yesterday never […]

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You are NOT broken…

May 14, 2017

We’ve all walked down that familiar path before – the “I’ll be happy when” mind trip. You know how it goes, once I (fill in the blank) all will be right with the world. This habitually way of thinking takes us out of the moment and keeps us thinking we need something in order to […]

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Does this happen to you too?

April 22, 2017

“We live between the act of awakening and the act of surrendering. Each morning we awake to the invitation of a new day in the world of time; each night we surrender to the dark to be taken to play in the world of dreams where time is no more. At birth we were awakened […]

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busy busy busy…

March 10, 2017

I have often said busy is overrated. Our society glorifies busy. And, in some ways we equate busy to worthiness. We think, I’m so busy doing for others, I must be worthy of love. Worse, is the mindset that we must stay busy to earn love from others or as a way of distracting ourselves to […]

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The Choice is YOURS

January 15, 2017

The choices we make every day have the greatest impact on our lives. A choice is the act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. Given that we live in a world flowing with possibilities, we are constantly making choices. Making choices is not always easy. In fact, it can […]

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Why not YOU?

December 18, 2016

I recently listened to an interview where Jack Welsh, the former CEO and chairman of General Electrics, told how he was teased and ridiculed as a kid growing up because of a speech impediment. He shared how it was his mother who encouraged and motivated him to stand tall. She would often ask him, “why […]

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