You are NOT broken…

by Lorraine Smith on May 14, 2017

We’ve all walked down that familiar path before – the “I’ll be happy when” mind trip. You know how it goes, once I (fill in the blank) all will be right with the world. This habitually way of thinking takes us out of the moment and keeps us thinking we need something in order to be whole.

Then we open any magazine, go on facebook or email, turn on the tv, talk with well-intended family/friends/loved ones, and the fixes come flying at us as if we are in wind tunnel  – you’d better hold on to something. Buy this new miracle product that will cure all that ails you, sign up for this training program and learn the secrets of success, try this new food or exercise program and drop that weight once and for all. And, don’t wait because it’s only available at this amazing price of something you probably can’t really afford right now for a limited time, so act now!

All of this leaves us feeling inadequate, and we may even feel like a loser because we can’t possibly afford that something that’s gonna fix us. So our mind starts trying to rationalize how we can put the purchase on our credit card which may open up another can of worms (we’ll talk about how our financial situations are often a reflection of our worthiness in another blog). Even if we can afford this new product/service, we can’t imagine where we’re going to find the time to fit it into our already overflowing schedules. Am I the only personal development junkie out there with books and programs untouched on my shelf?

Well I’m going to share something with you. Drum roll, please…ready…here goes – YOU ARE NOT BROKEN and YOU DON’T NEED TO BE FIXED!! Yep, that’s right! Nothing on the outside is going to FIX you simply because you are not broken!

Take a minute to let this sink in. Deep breath in, deep exhale out, again.

Canva - You are Not BrokenThere is sooooo much going on around us, constantly competing for our attention, often making us feel that we need something to fix our brokenness. This fuels our feelings of not being good enough, lack of self-worth, and fear of missing out (FOMO).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing the wonderful products and services out there. There are many that often find their way to us just at the right time. What I am talking about is the overabundance of messages that are constantly telling us we need something outside of ourselves to fix us.

Essentially, we have been picking up messages from the world around us from a very young age that have molded our beliefs about ourselves and who we think we are supposed to be. This process of looking outward has disconnected us from the truth of who we are.

We’ve forgotten, or perhaps never learned how to tune in, listen to, and trust our inner wisdom! This learned version of who we think we are supposed to be is often not in line with our true self. Heck, many of us have been living this perceived version of who we think we are supposed to be for so long that we have forgotten who we are deep down inside.

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown tells us that love and belonging are essential to the human experience. She shares that the one thing that separated those who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from those struggling for it is the belief in their worthiness.

Brené says, “if we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.” She continues, “When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness – that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging – lives inside our story.”

She also wrote, “How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves.”

We are not broken. We don’t need to be fixed. We do need to remind ourselves that we are worthy of love and belonging and that we best serve ourselves, and therefore those around us, when we live and own our story.

Everything circles back to self-love, EVERYTHING!

Loving and honoring ourselves is not selfish, it’s absolutely essential to living a wholehearted life.

Having a strong sense of self-worth not only roots us in self-love, it allows us to honor and trust our inner wisdom and embrace who we are.

Does this happen to you too?

by Lorraine Smith on April 22, 2017

IMG_2559

“We live between the act of awakening and the act of surrendering. Each morning we awake to the invitation of a new day in the world of time; each night we surrender to the dark to be taken to play in the world of dreams where time is no more. At birth we were awakened and emerged to become visible in the world. At death we will surrender again to the dark to become invisible. Awakening and surrender: they frame each day and each life; between them the journey where anything can happen, the beauty and the frailty.”

This is the first paragraph of Beauty The Invisible Embrace by John O’Donohue.

I often talk about ebb and flow – the rhythmical pattern of coming and going – the act of awakening and surrendering happening all around us. Winter surrenders as the spring awakens. The full moon surrenders as it moves towards the awakening new moon. The plants and trees awaken and eventually surrender back into the earth. The cycle of decay and regrowth is naturally occurring.

We humans also live our everyday lives between this act of awakening and surrendering – pushing and retracting – times when we are super busy and times when we need to rest and rejuvenate.

I think most of us are good at doing, doing, doing part. Our culture glorifies even promotes busy as being virtuous. For me, it’s taking the time to rest and restore that I often find most challenging.

Does this happen to you too?

You’ve been going strong for days, weeks, or even more taking care of all the things that need to get done, then you finally have some free space and you don’t know how to turn off without feeling guilty? What’s up with that?

This happened to me a few weekends ago. I had been super busy for weeks with not much free time to spare. I was getting stuff done and making things happen. Yeah, I love checking things off the to-do list! But I was really looking forward to a “free” weekend without any major obligations, just a bunch of things I wanted to catch up on. I was having a case of spring fever and had a strong urge to purge all the stuff accumulated over the winter ;-).

After enjoying a slow morning, rising gently and savoring a cup of coffee – my favorite thing to do on the weekend – I was having a hard time getting motivated to do anything at all. I started puttering – picking and putting as my mother-in-law would say – but I was getting nowhere fast. Then, I started to feel sick, really sick. My head began to ache, and I suddenly became nauseous and dizzy. Uh oh, was I coming down with something? I thought to myself, you better rest because you can’t afford to get sick, and on that premise, I gave myself permission to chill out.

While I was snuggled on the couch it occurred to me that my body was sending me a message. Yes, I needed to recharge, slow down, restore, chillax, but it was more than that. I realized…

–          I did not have to be sick to allow myself to take a breather.

–          how deep my feelings of worthiness are tied to being.

–          I don’t have to earn love and know that I am lovable because I exist.

–          how programmed I am to do and how hard it is for me to be.

–          I need to practice what I preach.

–          I need to trust the wisdom of my body.

–          everything we are seeking externally, begins internally within us.

–          everything ties back to self-love. Everything!

Most of all, I realized there is an ebb and flow in everything and that the busy and stillness – the awakening and surrender – are necessary to living a healthy, vibrant life.

So the next time you feel a pang of guilt popping up because you are taking it easy, remember this…you are doing something, you are giving yourself the rest you need to restore and balance out the busy.

busy busy busy…

March 10, 2017

I have often said busy is overrated. Our society glorifies busy. And, in some ways we equate busy to worthiness. We think, I’m so busy doing for others, I must be worthy of love. Worse, is the mindset that we must stay busy to earn love from others or as a way of distracting ourselves to […]

Read the full article →

The Choice is YOURS

January 15, 2017

The choices we make every day have the greatest impact on our lives. A choice is the act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. Given that we live in a world flowing with possibilities, we are constantly making choices. Making choices is not always easy. In fact, it can […]

Read the full article →

Why not YOU?

December 18, 2016

I recently listened to an interview where Jack Welsh, the former CEO and chairman of General Electrics, told how he was teased and ridiculed as a kid growing up because of a speech impediment. He shared how it was his mother who encouraged and motivated him to stand tall. She would often ask him, “why […]

Read the full article →

Don’t – Get – Sucked -In

November 19, 2016

I have always felt a huge energy shift this time of year – one that makes me want to retreat, slow down, get cozy, go within, rest, and reflect.  Ironically, it seems like the opposite starts occurring with the volume of busy turning on full blast. After the lazy, carefree days of summer, September brought back […]

Read the full article →

New Kids On The Block?

October 13, 2016

Have you noticed an emergence of “new” grains on the market? Interestingly, these grains are not new and have actually been around for a really long time. They are; however, finally getting the attention they deserve.  Many of these grains are high in fiber, packed with nutrients, and most are low glycemic – which means […]

Read the full article →

C.R.E.A.T.I.V.I.T.Y

September 21, 2016

The simple definition of creativity is the ability to make new things or think new ideas. It is the tendency to generate or recognize ideas, alternatives, or possibilities that may be useful in solving problems, communicating with others, entertaining ourselves and others, or simply making something that pleases us. Even those of us not in […]

Read the full article →

Sitting is the new Smoking

August 14, 2016

We all know that staying active is part of a healthy lifestyle, but many of us are finding ourselves sitting more than ever before. Sitting is being dubbed the new smoking! Our bodies were designed to move and all this sitting is beginning to take a toll on our health. Finding the time to exercise is […]

Read the full article →

Summertime is Salad Time

July 10, 2016

Why is it that in the summer we naturally crave more fresh and raw foods? These foods have a cooling effect on the body. The lightness and high water, fiber and vitamin content work together to act as our internal air conditioning during these warm months. At this time of year we also need less […]

Read the full article →