The Power of PAUSE

by Lorraine Smith on July 16, 2017

Pausing is not futile or idle, it’s actually productive!

Pausing is stepping to the side, sometimes for just a few minutes, sometimes for whole lot longer.

Pausing creates the space for contemplation and reflection.

Pausing lets us to reevaluate, reassess, and redirect.

Let’s face it, we are not the same person we were yesterday never mind who we were when we set the wheels in motion for whatever we are working on. We are ever changing, ever growing so it makes perfect sense to take a side step and pause periodically.

Getting so wrapped up in the outcome can cause us to miss the signals – both internal and external – that pop up along the way that may warrant us to course correct.

Pausing stops us from living on the horizon.

I frequently talk about ebb and flow and the cyclical nature of everything, including us. There are times when we need to take action, press on, and move forward and there are also times when we need to pull back and assess. Essentially, there are times for busy and times for respite.

By all means, pausing doesn’t mean that we throw in the towel. Pausing can feel uncomfortable because our culture generally values doing, doing, doing and leaving not time for simply being. Most of us have a suck it up and just get ‘er done default mode that runs deep. We are so used to pushing, that slowing down can feel downright unnerving. FOMO (fear of missing out) and fear that the world will come to a halt keeps us from slowing down. But I am seeing another way.  A better, more aligned way of doing things.

Lake Sunset w feetWhen we are in alignment with ourselves on that core level, busy does not drain us, is energizes and inspires us.   

I believe things should be easy. Not in the sense that we will never encounter hardship or have any dark nights of the soul. Rather “easy” from the sense that we are operating from a place of alignment with our mind, body and soul. If we find ourselves feeling off or disoriented, things begin to feel hard and overwhelming because we are no longer in alignment. Pausing gives us the chance to check in with ourselves and course correct so we regain alignment at a core level.

Pausing helps keeps things easy.

Pausing can also be what Kate Northrup so brilliantly dubs as the “fertile void”.  In her blog, Kate shares, “The Fertile Void is the creative phase where we rest, hang out in the unknown, re-evaluate, lay fallow, and pause. She states, “Deep, true creativity doesn’t emerge despite the deep pause; it emerges because of it.”

Pausing calls you back into the present moment. Being present, makes us receptive.

Being receptive – allowing, noticing, appreciating, observing, relaxing, welcoming, feeling, contemplating, revealing, accepting, letting go, yielding, hearing, watching, acknowledging – opens us to embrace the gifts that pausing brings.

Most importantly, when we pause, we tap into our creative feminine energy. Pausing helps us remember who we are and invites us to step into our biggest, brightest, truest powerful selves. Pausing helps us to connect to our feminine genius that has always been each of ours to own.

Go ahead Darling, take a pause, tap in, and drink it up the wisdom of YOU!

You are NOT broken…

by Lorraine Smith on May 14, 2017

We’ve all walked down that familiar path before – the “I’ll be happy when” mind trip. You know how it goes, once I (fill in the blank) all will be right with the world. This habitually way of thinking takes us out of the moment and keeps us thinking we need something in order to be whole.

Then we open any magazine, go on facebook or email, turn on the tv, talk with well-intended family/friends/loved ones, and the fixes come flying at us as if we are in wind tunnel  – you’d better hold on to something. Buy this new miracle product that will cure all that ails you, sign up for this training program and learn the secrets of success, try this new food or exercise program and drop that weight once and for all. And, don’t wait because it’s only available at this amazing price of something you probably can’t really afford right now for a limited time, so act now!

All of this leaves us feeling inadequate, and we may even feel like a loser because we can’t possibly afford that something that’s gonna fix us. So our mind starts trying to rationalize how we can put the purchase on our credit card which may open up another can of worms (we’ll talk about how our financial situations are often a reflection of our worthiness in another blog). Even if we can afford this new product/service, we can’t imagine where we’re going to find the time to fit it into our already overflowing schedules. Am I the only personal development junkie out there with books and programs untouched on my shelf?

Well I’m going to share something with you. Drum roll, please…ready…here goes – YOU ARE NOT BROKEN and YOU DON’T NEED TO BE FIXED!! Yep, that’s right! Nothing on the outside is going to FIX you simply because you are not broken!

Take a minute to let this sink in. Deep breath in, deep exhale out, again.

Canva - You are Not BrokenThere is sooooo much going on around us, constantly competing for our attention, often making us feel that we need something to fix our brokenness. This fuels our feelings of not being good enough, lack of self-worth, and fear of missing out (FOMO).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing the wonderful products and services out there. There are many that often find their way to us just at the right time. What I am talking about is the overabundance of messages that are constantly telling us we need something outside of ourselves to fix us.

Essentially, we have been picking up messages from the world around us from a very young age that have molded our beliefs about ourselves and who we think we are supposed to be. This process of looking outward has disconnected us from the truth of who we are.

We’ve forgotten, or perhaps never learned how to tune in, listen to, and trust our inner wisdom! This learned version of who we think we are supposed to be is often not in line with our true self. Heck, many of us have been living this perceived version of who we think we are supposed to be for so long that we have forgotten who we are deep down inside.

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown tells us that love and belonging are essential to the human experience. She shares that the one thing that separated those who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from those struggling for it is the belief in their worthiness.

Brené says, “if we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.” She continues, “When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness – that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging – lives inside our story.”

She also wrote, “How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves.”

We are not broken. We don’t need to be fixed. We do need to remind ourselves that we are worthy of love and belonging and that we best serve ourselves, and therefore those around us, when we live and own our story.

Everything circles back to self-love, EVERYTHING!

Loving and honoring ourselves is not selfish, it’s absolutely essential to living a wholehearted life.

Having a strong sense of self-worth not only roots us in self-love, it allows us to honor and trust our inner wisdom and embrace who we are.

Does this happen to you too?

April 22, 2017

“We live between the act of awakening and the act of surrendering. Each morning we awake to the invitation of a new day in the world of time; each night we surrender to the dark to be taken to play in the world of dreams where time is no more. At birth we were awakened […]

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busy busy busy…

March 10, 2017

I have often said busy is overrated. Our society glorifies busy. And, in some ways we equate busy to worthiness. We think, I’m so busy doing for others, I must be worthy of love. Worse, is the mindset that we must stay busy to earn love from others or as a way of distracting ourselves to […]

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The Choice is YOURS

January 15, 2017

The choices we make every day have the greatest impact on our lives. A choice is the act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. Given that we live in a world flowing with possibilities, we are constantly making choices. Making choices is not always easy. In fact, it can […]

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Why not YOU?

December 18, 2016

I recently listened to an interview where Jack Welsh, the former CEO and chairman of General Electrics, told how he was teased and ridiculed as a kid growing up because of a speech impediment. He shared how it was his mother who encouraged and motivated him to stand tall. She would often ask him, “why […]

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Don’t – Get – Sucked -In

November 19, 2016

I have always felt a huge energy shift this time of year – one that makes me want to retreat, slow down, get cozy, go within, rest, and reflect.  Ironically, it seems like the opposite starts occurring with the volume of busy turning on full blast. After the lazy, carefree days of summer, September brought back […]

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New Kids On The Block?

October 13, 2016

Have you noticed an emergence of “new” grains on the market? Interestingly, these grains are not new and have actually been around for a really long time. They are; however, finally getting the attention they deserve.  Many of these grains are high in fiber, packed with nutrients, and most are low glycemic – which means […]

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C.R.E.A.T.I.V.I.T.Y

September 21, 2016

The simple definition of creativity is the ability to make new things or think new ideas. It is the tendency to generate or recognize ideas, alternatives, or possibilities that may be useful in solving problems, communicating with others, entertaining ourselves and others, or simply making something that pleases us. Even those of us not in […]

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Sitting is the new Smoking

August 14, 2016

We all know that staying active is part of a healthy lifestyle, but many of us are finding ourselves sitting more than ever before. Sitting is being dubbed the new smoking! Our bodies were designed to move and all this sitting is beginning to take a toll on our health. Finding the time to exercise is […]

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