The Most Successful Thing I Did Was QUIT!

by Lorraine Smith on March 6, 2022

It’s been a while since I have posted and I am happy to be back at it again. I love sharing my thoughts here with you.

In September of 2019, I started a new job. It was everything I thought I wanted at the time– working with a bigger team in a well-established organization that held promise to learn and grow as an HR professional. I thought this would be my last big gig before I retire from my corporate HR career and fully transition to a career as a women-centered coach down the road. I was immediately recognized and promoted and found myself working harder than ever before. This was right before Covid hit which only increased the intensity of the workload as we navigated our rapidly changing world.

Two years later, despite the outward success and recognition, I began to feel like Sisyphus rolling boulders up a hill every day only to come back to do it again and again. While I did find some personal satisfaction in my accomplishments, it came at a very high cost. I was working incredibly long hours, was completely stressed and began to feel my well-being slip away. It was as if my body was screaming at me, ”what do I have to do to let you know that something is out of alignment?”.

I Quit

Fortunately, she got my attention, and just like that, I quit. For the first time in my life without having a plan in place, just a deep knowing that I’ll figure it out, I submitted my resignation. It felt radical and right. I was a little scared but did it anyway. I exhaled deeply for the first time in a looooong time and felt the weight of the world drip off my shoulders. My body thanked me.

I kept hearing the Mary Oliver quote, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” followed by the question, “if not now, when?”.

Apparently, I was not alone. I was (unintentionally) part of an exodus some dub as the Great Resignation where a record number of people have quit their jobs during the COVID-19 pandemic. Overall, I think Covid was a tipping point for most people who realized they were looking for more meaning in how they spend their precious life energy. It certainly begs the question, could this Great Resignation bring about meaningful, long-term change to workplace culture and the way companies invest in their employees? I certainly hope so.

Here are a few things I learned:

  • Listen to your body and emotions, they know what’s really going on and provide valuable information and guidance.
  • No one else can determine your success – it’s an inside job – and unique to each of us.
  • Saying no to something opens the space for something else.
  • Creating space for contemplation and rest is vital to staying healthy and in alignment with your inner being.
  • Trust in yourself, and trust that your next step will appear.
  • We all have the power to create a life that we love.

So, just like that, I realized I was saying yes to me. It was as if the Universe was waiting for me. I was immediately drawn to a woman-centered personal development program which I dove into with my newfound time. Upon completion of the course, The Institute for Women-Centered Coaching, Training, and Leadership launched their first Empowering Women Platinum Coach & Facilitator Certification program that felt like it was tailored just for me 😉. I am learning so much and I cannot wait to share with all of you. When I did put my toe back in the water to find a new HR role, it felt as if the perfect job landed in my lap, one in alignment with the type or organization and work that suits me.

And, just like that, after taking a few months off to recharge, I am back to work at an exciting new company and enrolled in a course that lights me up. Even though my plate a little full, rather than being drained, I feel energized and in alignment with ME.

I don’t know for sure where this new path will take me, but what I do know is that when I listen to my Inner Knowing, I make choices that are more in alignment with my truth.

What are some things that you may want to say no to? What are some things you want to say YES to?

Do you have FOMO?

by Lorraine Smith on September 22, 2018

The other day I realized I was struck with a bit of FOMO. Seeing so many cool events happening on Facebook and reading about all the fun people were having made me feel as if I was missing out on something. I found myself trying to do it all, trying to squeeze more into my already packed life and I was getting zapped.

Wikipedia describes fear of missing out, or FOMO, as “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”. It can occur when we think we are not in-the-know or we’ll miss out on a social event, experience, or interaction. People who grapple with FOMO might not know exactly what they are missing but still hold a fear (or emptiness) that others are having a much better time or a much more rewarding experience then they are.

This acronym has even found it’s place in the English Oxford Living Dictionary that describes FOMO as “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.

FOMO can also stem from a sense of duty or striving to get ahead. We may feel obligated to support a colleague or friend or may want to obtain knowledge or mastery at something new. We see something that someone else has or has achieved and we want that too. Insert scene from When Harry Met Sally here….”I’ll have what she’s having” 😉

As this article from Forbes states, “studies have shown that FOMO is often linked to feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction, and that social media fuels it. Think how many people constantly scan email or Facebook to keep up with friends’ updates. Some people don’t just want to keep up – they start to compare and evaluate their lives based on how they see others portraying their own.”

Comparing ourselves to others is very risky business. I wrote a blog about the downside of comparison HERE. When we compare ourselves to others we are essentially saying to ourselves I am wrong and must be more like someone else in order to be worthy of love and belonging. Hogwash! And quite frankly, it is exhausting and overwhelming.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

However, it’s easy to see how FOMO and comparison can contribute to another quote from Oscar Wilde, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

Here are some questions we can ask ourselves…

  • Has the fear of missing out invaded my decision making process?
  • Has the fear of missing out taken up residence in the front seat?
  • Is it driving me to do things I don’t really want to because I think I may miss out on something?
  • Is FOMO influencing us to make choices that are not in alignment with our true heart and soul desire?

There are so many opportunities knocking on our door – classes, meet-ups, events, parties, activities, webinars, programs, clubs, the latest book, movie or restaurant – and social media brings them to the center of our attention. While it can feel tempting to do them all, we need to be discerning about how we spend our time. If we stretch ourselves too thin by doing things based on the FOMO, we can end up feeling depleted and out of alignment with our own north star.

Fortunately, there is a new acronym emerging on the scenes – JOMO.  In this refreshing post from the Whole Life Challenge website titled FOMO vs. JOMO: How to Embrace the Joy of Missing Out, author Michelle Manskie shares “……..fear of missing out can compel us to do things we don’t enjoy. JOMO, on the other hand, encourages us to understand what we want, why we want it, and how we’re feeling in the present moment. It directs our energy and time into the activities that truly engage us. Regardless of what we do or don’t do, it’s the intention behind those choices that’s important.”

When we learn to tune into what we want, we can then consciously choose how to spend our time and energy and stay aligned with our heart and soul desire. This takes letting go of FOMO and embracing our own needs and desires. It takes following the beat of your own drum.

“You did not come here to be normal, you came here to be you.” – Robert Holden

If we let FOMO rule our decisions we lose connection with our inner wisdom.

Staying connected to our innate wisdom is sometimes easier said than done because many of us have forgotten how to hear the whispers of our souls. Ask yourself, if I can do anything without having to be concerned about time or money, what would it be? What brings me joy? What are those activities that I can get lost in because it feels like time stands still when I am emerged in doing them? Take time to explore these questions. Here’s a hint, it is usually something that comes so natural to you and is typically creative.

Here’s what you can do to reconnect the next time you feel FOMO creeping in –

Take a deep full grounding breath and exhale fully. On you next inhale, feel yourself reconnecting to YOUR inner wisdom. As you continue to stay tuned to your breath, ask yourself….

  • Is this event aligned with my heart and soul desire?
  • Does the thought of participating in this event make my heart sing?
  • Is FOMO driving my decision?
  • Does saying no feel like a relief?
  • Is this a definite yes?

If the answer is not a yes, then it is simply a no. I absolutely love this filter and use it often. Remember, it is okay for you to say no. When you do, you are saying YES to YOU!!

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

Don’t be afraid of the DARK

August 11, 2018

Have you ever noticed how we label our emotions as good or bad, positive or negative? Happy or Joyful = Good, Angry or Sad =Bad. Yet, all emotions are neutral and have a common goal – to be expressed. Emotions are a water element, and like a babbling brook they need to keep flowing otherwise […]

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LIVE NOW

May 26, 2018

Do you defer your happiness? Are you unknowingly putting your live on hold waiting for the perfect conditions to take place in order to be happy? Do you think when “such and such” happens you will finally feel content? Are you spending way too much time on social media only to emerge afterwards feeling empty […]

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Dare to compare…

April 14, 2018

Comparing yourself to others is risky business. When we feel something is not going right or things are spiraling out of control in our own lives, we tend to think the grass is greener on the other side. We compare ourselves to others who look like they have it all together. But, more often than […]

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Better to give AND receive

March 18, 2018

We are all familiar with the biblical quote, “it is more blessed to give than receive.” “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ― Charles Dickens Don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe that being of service to those in need, spreading love and kindness, and sharing our unique […]

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LOVE – it starts with YOU

February 18, 2018

What do you think of when you hear the term self-love? Perhaps you think of self-care, like getting a massage or indulging in some TLC. Perhaps it conjures up words like selfish, narcissism, conceited, vain, or even worse, masturbation. So what is self-love? In his book Loveability – Knowing How to Love and Be Loved, […]

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live your truth

January 27, 2018

We all have an innate intelligence within us designed to guide us to vibrant health and authentic happiness. Our body is always striving towards wellness. Just as a cut heals itself, you don’t have to think about making it heal, it happens with just a little TLC. We are also made to creatively express ourselves […]

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Love, sweet love…

November 23, 2017

Ahhhh, the holidays are upon us. Somehow time seems to start flying at warp speed this time of year. It’s the season of more. Do more, eat more, buy more, party more, drink more, stress more. More is not always better it’s just, well, more! The pressure to do more comes at a price. It […]

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Believe in yourself!

October 14, 2017

When you tune into your heart’s desire and know yourself, anything is possible. Sounds easy, right? Then why is it that we feel like something is missing or we are not living up to our fullest potential? Life is mirroring how we show up in ways that may be invisible to us. Remember that – […]

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